Swooping

I'm a fan of letting your kids fail.  Of letting them learn from their mistakes.  I'm okay with not taking in forgotten homework or lunch's and if you don't have your flags or mouth guard for football you don't play.  I'm all for letting my kids be cold when they forget their jacket knowing next time they'll remember. 

I'm not a fan of "swooping" type parenting, rushing in to save my children from consequences. 

But this week I swooped. 

It was Aliya's first day at her new middle school now that we've moved to Tempe.  I sat with her in the office for the hour and half it took to get things squared away in the system and I felt so uneasy the whole time.  The caliber of students were, shall we say, a little frightening.  The staff was great, but I just couldn't see her fitting in.  Four moms came and went while I was there and they all looked like crack heads.  I'm not kidding.  Not in the "I'm at the school in my pajamas because I was in a hurry and needed to just run in" kind of way but the "fine I'll pull myself away from my crack pipe long enough to go to the school and complain to them that my kid is late because he ran to the corner store to get me more cigarettes and it's totally a good reason to miss" kind of way. 

They paired her up with a girl to be her buddy and it was time for me to leave.

I sat in my car and cried.

Two hours later she called me bawling her eyes out and I couldn't understand a word she was saying.  My heart was being ripped in half.  She was saying that kids were making fun of her for a variety of reasons, one of which being that she brought her lunch in stead of buying.  I wanted to knock some heads together.  I was in Gilbert running errands and couldn't get to her quickly so I called Hubby and he went over and talked with her and the Principal.  He's a really great guy and was so understanding.  He told Hubby to check out two nearby schools and see if they would be a better fit.  He made her go to one more class.  I wanted to yank her out immediately. 

He found a great one and it's going to be a perfect fit.  She'll have to wear uniforms and it's harder academically but it's where she belongs. 

Was it the right thing to let her quit after one day?  I think in this case it was.  Looking back I should have walked right out while I was with her that morning.  My mothers heart knew something was wrong, that it was not going to be as simple as adjusting to new surroundings.  But I didn't want to rescue too quickly. 

Next time I'll listen to my intuition sooner. 

And just this once I'm okay being called a swooper.