Cleanup in isle 4

Have you ever desperately wanted your kids to behave.  And they desperately want to run around like little tornadoes of chaos and destruction? 

When we go places I really like to give the "Why yes, they are angels aren't they.  Oh why thank you, but no I haven't written a parenting book" vibe.  You know, because it's super fun when people think you never yell, or threaten or want to physically strangle your children. 

Especially when we are overseas.  I don't want people to view me or my offspring as the "ugly Americans". 

While we were in a mall in Jordan my kids were having an unusually hard time maintaining normal human behavior.  All social norms?  Gone.  I was trying with every fiber of my being to keep a smile on my face while wanting to grab them by their ears and march them out of there.  Of course I never actually grab their ears but it sounded like a good idea at the time.  Or the volken death grip.  That has a nice ring to it.
I was looking at some cute belts and I heard a crash.  I knew a fruit of my loins was responsible.  I can feel it.
I turn around and a child of mine who shall remain nameless has managed to knock over an entire rack full of clothes.  Onto the dirty floor.  My friend Lindy races into action helping me pick them up while laughing hysterically because she said my facial expression was "priceless".  I'm sure the real expression was "murder" but sometimes it's hard to distinguish. 

As soon as Hubby showed up after his meeting, I ever so gently and kindly reminded him that they are his kids and he can have them.  I'm going to a store where they haven't had their merchandise soiled or walked on.  And don't know me. 
Guess I can kiss that parenting book goodbye.  Oh well.  It was a pipe dream anyway.  Someday I'll have my revenge.  In the form of grandchildren.  And it will be sweet.