I thought I could speak cat but it turns out all I was saying was "Pizza! Turtle yesterday sweater, noodle!"

When what I meant to say was "Hey, you, don't have any babies around here or I'll give them all away!"

So my sweet, adorable, kitty exploded and became six.

Girlfriend was shacking up in the bushes out front and 63 days later (thanks to Google) out came 5 slimy rat looking things that quickly turned into fuzzy cute little kittens!

I mean, I guess it's mostly my fault for not getting her lady parts snipped but I kind of thought she was too young at 15 months.  She's like a teenager having babies.  Where did I go wrong! 

The fun started when I was at work and Dylan was texting me that she was having them "in the chair".  As in, she climbed up into the inards of the chair and gave birth multiple times.  And the boys were home alone.

Him: Mom, I can't get her out of the chair!

Me: Just leave her alone and pick them up and put them into the basket.

Him: But one of them has this cord thing coming off of it and it's connected to what looks like...an organ.

Me: Oh, that's just the umbilical cord and placenta, Zoe will eat them later.

Him:  WHAAAAAT?!!

Ah the miracle of birth.  Combine it with a twelve year old boy and it's magic. 

Daymon was too into his video game to really care about the delivery situation at all so it was up to Dylan to escort them into the world.  He was all "What, new life coming into the world right behind me?  Naw, you got this."  Although Daymon did happen to catch the eating of the placenta and gagged for quite a while. 

Aliya was at friends house and missed the whole debacle much to her delight.  She was quite satisfied to have bypassed all the gory details and to be left with only cute fuzziness.

I hope this teaches them all the valuable lesson that if you mess around in the bushes you could potentially make and pop out five little beings only with more gore and screaming and not only do they not make chairs that big but you can't just saunter off and hang out outside when the fancy strikes like some cat I know.  

Mexico, oh how I love your beaches, lazy river, pina coladas and maybe even your murderous jelly fish stings..

So we did this crazy thing where we braved the Mexican border and get this...absolutely nothing happened.  Well I mean not if you count tanning in the perfect weather around four amazing clear pools next to the warm ocean with a breeze while holding pina coladas, because that totally happened. 

It was kind of amazing.

Some friends of ours own a condo down in Rocky Point and were incredibly kind enough to allow us to stay for a week.  It was exactly the break we needed.

And Dylan getting stung by jelly fish?  He thought it was awesome.  Because he's twelve.  And a boy.

I thought briefly about peeing on his chest only the medical personnel said we should put Windex on it instead because of the ammonia and I was like, but my pee has ammonia but I guess my twelve year old prefers Windex over his mom's pee.  Fair enough.

And just when we had our ultimate fill of Mexican awesomeness we tried to get back into America and that only took a mere six hours.  In a car that we could not keep running because it has transmission issues so it was honestly 123 degrees in the car with the windows down.  No biggie.  It was like America was all "Oh, so you want to go to another country to have fun?  And you had to go on my Independence day too?  Like all rubbing it in my face?  We'll see you who gets back in in a 'timely fashion'".

Totally worth it.