mom by choice

I'm pretty much in head-over-heels, crazy love with these three. 

I read an article recently about how people have kids to make themselves feel complete and then hate their lives.  They said they love their kids, but hate their lives.  Interesting.  I also skimmed a book about couples who chose to remain childless and how children will not full fill them or their marriage. 

I don't know about you, but I did not have kids to full fill me or make my marriage complete.  I had kids because a) I love kids and b) being a mother is one the greatest feats I have ever tried/attempted/dreamed of being good at.  I fail every day, yet they forgive me because they love me and I forgive myself because I know I'm not perfect.  The joy they bring to our home is beyond description. 

Do I have those days when I just want to scream and pull my hair out if they argue one more time?  Do I enjoy those times when things get broken or destroyed?  No.  But those things are just that.  Things.  I can't imagine choosing a lamp over a child.  Even a nice lamp.  I use this example because one of our kids broke ours yesterday doing a back flip across the couch.  It was a pretty sweet flip. 

I love the chaos, the craziness, the messiness.  I wouldn't trade it for the world.

But I think the ultimate lesson I have learned is how incredible it is that Jesus sees me as his child and sees my chaos, craziness and messiness and still loves me and forgives me.  Daily.  He disciplines me because he loves me, just as I discipline because I love them.  It hurts me to have to take away a favorite toy or a trip to the park, yet I would be doing them a bigger disservice by not disciplining.

When I think my heart will explode with love, I think "and Jesus loves me so much more!" 

I don't judge those who choose not to have kids.  If fact, if you don't have the desire, the last thing we need are more children who are emotionally neglected.  In the same way, I don't want to be judged for having them.  I'm not disillusioned.  I know it's hard.  I know it's expensive and I know they don't complete me.  Only Jesus does that. 

But being a mother is one of my greatest joys and even though it's not for everyone, it is for me. 

you pick

So, would you rather have two parakeets, a baby vulture and a humming bird, OR a parrot, a toucan and a dove? 

These are the questions I get asked approximately every five minutes from my Dylan.  He's become obsessed with birds.  And I do not use that word lightly.  When we visited the zoo on vacation he came to me and said, "can we please go see the birds.  Every time people come to the zoo, they skip the birds".  As I'm thinking, really?  Birds?  But okay.  So he got to feed them and was in heaven.  He's told me around 900 hundred times that the only thing he wants for Christmas is a bird and that we don't have to get him anything else.  He's even been doing his own research online at different pet stores and Craigslist.  This kid is not messing around.  At the library this week he checked out six books ranging from predator birds to owls. He can name them, spot them, list tons of facts and distinguish between species.  Wow.  I have to confess birds are pretty much never on my radar. Unless I hit one while driving or get pooped on. 
Apparently he's been transformed since this post.  I'm not sure what happened but hey, I do like a live bird better than a dead one. I'm pretty sure the neighbors do too.

The conversation went something like this. . .

I think you're a liar.

Nope, sorry, I never lie.

There is absolutely no way you're telling me the truth. 

Then why did you ask me?

I'm beginning to question that myself.  Is this some sort of conspiracy?

...

Because if you don't want me to be happy then just say it.

You're insane.

Oh just add insult to injury.  I would never be this mean to you.

If you're looking for affirmation, try the other room, here it's all truth all the time.

See this is why I never take you anywhere, you'd probably lie to my friends too.  I'm in a very fragile state right now.  A little wiggle room?

Oh right, I'm sure you're eyelashes are super heavy.

Do not negate the power of super lash mascara!

If I start lying to you then everyone would expect it and then there goes my reputation. 

I thought I meant more to you.  Clearly we are at an impass. I'll be back when I can handle your "truth".


The bathroom scales and I are no longer speaking.

He knows what he likes

It was raining.  Deep in thought for a few moments, Daymon  turned to me and said "mom, if it really were raining cats and dogs. . . I would only catch the dogs". 

Eviiiil. As in the fruiiits of the deviiiil.

I believe I've mentioned my kitty before. Sweet Sophie. If by sweet you mean of the devil. I'm sure it's simply a matter of some kitty meds, because she treats me like I use catnip lotion while causing the rest of the household to bleed.

I would have her de-clawed {don't judge me} however, I think spending a gazillion dollars is almost enough to stop me and then the evil eye from the vet's assistants just pushes me right over the edge. These people have obviously never been attacked while simply walking across the living room. Our house can be a dangerous place. I'm assuming that in her mind feet = scratching post. You can see her confusion.

So I took their advice and resorted to "SoftClaws".

Like little fashion statements for felines. Who wouldn't want these? Sophie. That's who.
I'm sure she's just upset because they were out of pink and I had to buy clear. Although clear can be "bling-y" it's just not pink.

Our cat Cairo sat quite contentedly, lapping up cat treats while we put them on him and had no problem with clear.  He's self sacrificing like that. Sophie however tried to destroy the oven mitted hands that were holding her and eventually we gave up. So she continues to keep up the stock for the band-aid company. You can't say she's not doing her part for the economy. All about supply and demand and the small people in my house demand band-aid's. And juice box's.

The whole "come-within-four-feet-of-me-and-I'll-cut-you-up" thing is just one of the many faults of my kitty. She will only drink water out of the faucet and only if I turn it on. She has recently decided she is too good for the dog door and will meow until someone opens the door like a good human being should. She thinks the counter tops are a perfectly reasonable place for her to be. She scratches at our bedroom door incessantly until it's opened or we throw something at her, and she growls at Cairo constantly. Not that I can blame her. His main goal in life is to torture her. They should wear little T-shirts that say "Team Sheila" or "Team rest-of-the-world".

Because that's really what it comes down to. Everyone hates her and I try uselessly to defend her. Which can be a little hard when there is blood involved.  And crying.  And gnashing of teeth.  If only they knew the Sophie I know. If only the SoftClaw people would make house calls. If only I could get my hands on some kitty Valium. Because the super glue is coming out again as are the ugly clear SoftClaws. Let's hope the oven mitts can handle another go round. I'm almost out of band-aid's.

caterpillers are for the trees. not faces.

Do you have an eleven year old daughter?

Would you like to torture her?

Simply gather these materials.

Don't worry, no amount of icing will actually numb what is coming.

Pull one hair at a time.

Apply more ice.

One more hair.

More ice.

You might need ear plugs for the screeching. Depending on your pain tolerance.

Repeat the process for a small eternity.

Try for the hundredth time to explain why it is that, yes, girls have to do way more work to look good.

Give reassuring hugs as you explain that this will continue for the next. . .6 or 7 decades.

I have yet to see hubby torture our boys in any manner such as this.

Just call me Jack Bauer.

the many faces of Dylan

Big Mama hates us

Hubby and I celebrated our 13th anniversary and he surprised me by taking me out to lunch at the John Hancock building in Chicago. 95th floor.
As much fun as it would be to say that he whisked me away for just this occasion, in all fairness we were all ready in Chicago. But he did whisk away the kids so we could be alone and plan it and pull off the surprise. I'd say that's pretty stinking awesome. Have you ever tried to drive downtown in Chicago? Our GPS told us to turn right twice and twice we were going the wrong way down a one way street. I'm pretty sure our GPS whom I have lovingly named "Big Mama" wants us to die. Despite her best efforts we made it there and just missed them giving away our reservations. We refuse to let Big Mama win.





Happy anniversary Hubby!! It just keeps getting better! There is no one I'd rather narrowly escape death with. Thank you for the amazing day, and the amazing life.

Holy hair Batman!!

What do you do when your kid wakes up with hair like this?

Hide it under a hat of course.

Even though he will argue that it's awesome and he likes looking like Syndrome/Edward Cullen/Ace Ventura.

I think we missed a piece there buddy.