The conversation went something like this. . .

I think you're a liar.

Nope, sorry, I never lie.

There is absolutely no way you're telling me the truth. 

Then why did you ask me?

I'm beginning to question that myself.  Is this some sort of conspiracy?

...

Because if you don't want me to be happy then just say it.

You're insane.

Oh just add insult to injury.  I would never be this mean to you.

If you're looking for affirmation, try the other room, here it's all truth all the time.

See this is why I never take you anywhere, you'd probably lie to my friends too.  I'm in a very fragile state right now.  A little wiggle room?

Oh right, I'm sure you're eyelashes are super heavy.

Do not negate the power of super lash mascara!

If I start lying to you then everyone would expect it and then there goes my reputation. 

I thought I meant more to you.  Clearly we are at an impass. I'll be back when I can handle your "truth".


The bathroom scales and I are no longer speaking.