I'm pretty much in head-over-heels, crazy love with these three.
I read an article recently about how people have kids to make themselves feel complete and then hate their lives. They said they love their kids, but hate their lives. Interesting. I also skimmed a book about couples who chose to remain childless and how children will not full fill them or their marriage.
I don't know about you, but I did not have kids to full fill me or make my marriage complete. I had kids because a) I love kids and b) being a mother is one the greatest feats I have ever tried/attempted/dreamed of being good at. I fail every day, yet they forgive me because they love me and I forgive myself because I know I'm not perfect. The joy they bring to our home is beyond description.
Do I have those days when I just want to scream and pull my hair out if they argue one more time? Do I enjoy those times when things get broken or destroyed? No. But those things are just that. Things. I can't imagine choosing a lamp over a child. Even a nice lamp. I use this example because one of our kids broke ours yesterday doing a back flip across the couch. It was a pretty sweet flip.
I love the chaos, the craziness, the messiness. I wouldn't trade it for the world.
But I think the ultimate lesson I have learned is how incredible it is that Jesus sees me as his child and sees my chaos, craziness and messiness and still loves me and forgives me. Daily. He disciplines me because he loves me, just as I discipline because I love them. It hurts me to have to take away a favorite toy or a trip to the park, yet I would be doing them a bigger disservice by not disciplining.
When I think my heart will explode with love, I think "and Jesus loves me so much more!"
I don't judge those who choose not to have kids. If fact, if you don't have the desire, the last thing we need are more children who are emotionally neglected. In the same way, I don't want to be judged for having them. I'm not disillusioned. I know it's hard. I know it's expensive and I know they don't complete me. Only Jesus does that.
But being a mother is one of my greatest joys and even though it's not for everyone, it is for me.
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