A few pages from a disgruntled teenaged zombie journal.

Week 87

This blows.  Like, I know I'm supposed to be all into brains and whatever, but seriously they are way messy.  And no one ever uses napkins at all anymore, it's just all "Auuhhhhaaahhhhggg".  I mean if you're going to slobber all over my brains then they're yours.  Gross.

Week 90

I had to stumble four blocks yesterday just to find one human and when I got there do you think there were any brains left?  No, so I had to settle for guts and then the girl's boyfriend jumped out from nowhere and started shooting and now I can't keep my left foot on.  I mean, really?  Luckily I found some duct tape so here's hoping it works.

Week 91

It didn't.

Week 94

I managed to find a cozy little spot off the highway where I can keep re-stapling my foot back on and luckily humans keep finding this place too.  I play dead and let them poke me for a bit then bam it's brains for dinner.  Oh and I found some napkins as well.  I mean just because I'm dead doesn't mean I have to be a slob. 

Week 97

It's getting really boring here.  I've resorted to playing hand puppets with real hands.  On the upside I've discovered that Mexican brains taste remarkably spicy!  I'm on the lookout for anyone Italian now. 

Week 104

Good news and bad news.  I was three in on the Italian family I found, my experiment going just as I had hoped, when the teenage boy gets all rampage-y and out of control and I managed to only nip him before he got away.  But man the rest of that family was good!

Week 105

I guess my nip must have been enough because now that guy is back, only now for some reason he looks way hotter.  All hunched over, left ear missing, mouth open, gurgling sounds at the back of the throat.  I really hope he doesn't stare at my foot.

Week 108

Well apparently it doesn't matter what form a boy takes!  They're all just stupid jerks!  I put it all out there, asked if he wanted to go get some brains and he just stood there are all glassy eyed, staring at my foot and said "Uhhghhhhhuuhh."  Really?  How rude.

Week 109

What does it take to stumble into a hive of humans and get shot around here?!  Geesh!  Miranda did it last week!

Week 110

I'm so over Italian boy.  Besides I saw him with a skanky looking undead girl the other day with only half a jaw and ewwww.  Even for me.  So. 

Week 115

No feet left.  Also missing both my ears.  And brains are getting really old.  If I keep crawling around my arms won't last long either.  A bunch of us have heard stories about a hive of humans living about 20 miles from here and we're hoping we can make it so they'll put us out of our misery.

Week 127

We made it and it turns out the humans are a part of some sort of "Ant-Violence Pro Zombie" group.  For the love of all that's decent....I'm writing this with my teeth now.  Seriously shoot me.