Invasion!! Or alternatly titled mom is afraid of all things insecty or with lots of legs

So  a scorpion dropped out of Dylan's ceiling.  In case you missed that.  It DROPPED out of his ceiling as if that were a perfectly acceptable thing to do.  There is a little hole next to his ceiling fan and it just crawled in from there and fell right onto his bed.

I would have immediately killed it if I weren't suffering an extreme case of the heebie jeebies, or know, whatever.  When I relayd the story to my sister she was all "Well I'm sure you got it right away, scorpions are really slow" and I was all "Not if you're doing the I'm-so-grossed-out-right-now dace on the other side of the room."  It's a complicated jig that requires all limbs and full concentration.  I'm just sayin.

And everyone keeps telling me to get rid of any bugs or crickets in our house that might be attracting the scorpions but I pay good money each week to bring crickets into my house for Fuzz only they keep escaping the habitat somehow.  And it's true what they say about those crickets attracting scorpions, they are such floozies it's not even funny.  

So the monster got away and was just roaming free in my house doing God knows what, probably having all it's friends over to party, eating small children off the street.

I've been having a hard time sleeping, but apparently I'm the only one.  The rest of the house doesn't care that a man eating creature is on the loose.

And then it happened.

I was in kitchen making my morning coffee and I turned around and it was there.

It was a standoff like you see in the old westerns.  I'm sure he just wanted coffee because lets be honest, coffee is tantamount to french kissing a unicorn and I can't fault it for that, but there we were eyes locked and then my dog sees it and starts huffing at it and I think here's my chance.

Me:  Dusty, get it.  { whispering and pointing down with my eyeballs because it can hear me}

Dusty:  huffing and weird sneezing at it


Me:  Seriously, dude, it's right there, get it!

Dusty:  sits down and looks at me


Me:  {pointing with my eyes and my left toe now} it's right there eat him!

Dusty:  licks butthole


And that is how a plastic cup saved me from a man eating scorpion and my dog did not.

The end.