Is it just me. . .

or does my daughter look like Dakota Fanning. I've always thought so. When she was really little random people would say she looked like her. What do you think?

Happy Birthday Dylan

My Dylan turned 9. And when he has a birthday it means mine is not too far behind. Yuck. I'm starting to really not like birthdays. Or should I say, not like getting older. Because birthdays rock. You get presents, well wishes, phone calls, presents, hugs, and presents.

{he doesn't really know how to make a normal face in a

picture. sigh.}
Dylan had a wonderful day and we took him and a few of his friends to Jump Street to celebrate. They had a jumptastic time. I'm sure they burned like 48,000 calories. I couldn't help but look around at myself and all the other parents who just watched from the sidelines, all out of shape with plenty of extra pounds to lose and think "wait, this should be opposite."



He even got enough birthday cash to buy himself the Xbox360 he's been begging for. Because we really need another game system. We only have a wii, playstation, DS and regular Xbox. I truly don't know how my kids get by.

But he's ecstatically happy so that makes me super happy. Because he's my favorite 9 year old on the planet. Even if his birthday induces a panic attack at the thought of my birthday hot on its heels. But he assures me that "mom, you still look 29". Yet another reason to adore this kid.

Is addiction too strong a word?

I'm addicted.

First it was the show 24. Then it ended. Now it's back. Addiction refueled.

But not before becoming addicted to Lost. Because that show rocks. On every level.



However, hubby was recently out of the country and I couldn't watch either one while he was away. It's like an unspoken rule. And by unspoken I mean if you even think about watching without the other one there will be unpleasant consequences. Like not sharing the cheese dip.

So what to do? Get addicted to another show, naturally. I mean left to my own devices the logical step is to explore what else is out there and that's when my sister said " have you seen Heroes"? These shows are like Meth. One episode and I'm hooked. I'm starting to wonder if they aren't using subliminal messages or something. That or I'm just a sucker for drama/action/romance. And the occasional cheerleader who can't die. You know. The basic stuff.


All I know is hubby returns from exploring the world to find his wife sucked in to another show. He is stronger than I am, however, and has no desire to watch Heroes. But I did it all for him! All in the name of preserving our sacred "after the kids have gone to bed/adult TV time". I mean I give and I give. And I obviously don't have a problem. I can quit anytime I want. Right after this episode. Pass the cheese dip.

Things I learned while chaparoning a fifth grade field trip

1. There will be fifth graders taller than me. And they will point it out.

2. A bus full of 60 fifth graders are louder than standing next to a jack hammer. Only in a higher pitch.

3. You will find out who everyone likes via the grapevine, notes and betrayed pinkie swears.

4. To a fifth grader everything is a level 10. Everything.

5. My daughter is the sweetest/prettiest/funniest/best one of them all.

6. At least two boys in her class feel the same way.

7. My daughter's teacher should receive the Nobel peace prize for the amount of patients she has.

8. I'm really out of shape. Really. Out. Of. Shape.

9. A blue whale's heart is the size of my car.

10. Seeing my kids interact in their natural habitat is really cool.

And this little girl holds my heart in her hands.

How to neutralize a zombie in three easy steps:

I came home from work the other day to find three zombie's in my living room. Two of them looked a lot like my two boys and the third looked vaguely like the boy next door. I could see all of their insides which looked a lot like marker but was clearly their organs in great detail.
They were wielding swords and sticks but I was thinking quickly on my feet and avoided an attack from all sides. You too can avoid zombie attacks should you come into contact with one. Or as in my case three.

Step One:
Try to ignore the grotesque nature of said zombie's and attempt to hug one of them. This sends them screeching away in great horror and results in you gaining the upper hand using the element of surprise.

Step Two:
Distract them by offering a treat, for example cookies or ice cream.

Step Three:
When their mouths are full, quickly retrieve their weapons and hug them from behind. This renders them useless and they are unable to escape.

Some zombie's may actually look cute in the face but do not let that fool you. The three I came into contact with seemed adorable and were later able to take me down using mind control techniques and by calling me mommy. Stick to the above mentioned three step rule and you should be fine. And under no circumstances let them bat their eyes at you or you will be taken out of commission and forced to do their bidding.

Sisterhood

I find that few people in life truly get you. My husband fits into that category {thank goodness} my best friend, my mom and then there's my sister. She really gets me. Even though we're ten years apart, I'm older, I don't think I laugh with anyone else like I laugh with her. Maybe it's because laughter comes so easily to her, maybe it's because I'm freaking hilarious or maybe it's because we totally get each other's humor. All I know is that she's really good for my soul.

She flew in to help with our kiddos while Hubby is away and I'm having a fantastic time with her! We've been doing tons of crafts, and for me, crafting is comparable to being hooked on heroine. Not that I know what that's like but I think it must be like doing crafts.

We've also been watching girl movies and bonding over our love of protein style cheese burgers from In-N-Out. We agree on all aspects of the show Lost and I love that we can sit next to each other and read for hours without feeling the need to talk. See, she gets me.

She also has a beautiful spirit, contagious smile, an amazing ability to truly listen and a servant's heart. Oh how I love this girl.

There is nothing more special than having a sister. {Michael, if you're reading this, I mean having a brother}

It's really cool how God gifts us with built in friends. Because He gets us most of all.

So Sheri, I truly love you. I'm so blessed to have you in my life. I have loved watching you change and grow and become a talented, vivacious beautiful woman. And you're the only friend I have that I can remember changing their diapers. Because what kind of sister would I be if I didn't bring that up?

{Hubby was giving us a hard time about how we always

have our cheeks pressed together in pics so we were

trying to stand apart.}

Things I never thought I would say as a parent:

"But if you use the couch as a spring board your head will go through the wall"

"Stop giving the dog a haircut!"

"I don't have any tissues. . . just use this."

"A little blood never hurt anyone, you're fine."

"How in the world did you get up there?"

"Stop walking up the walls! You're putting footprints on my paint!"

"I'm pretty sure the cat doesn't like that."

"No you can't eat the entire box."

"Who colored the underside of the table?"

"Is that blood or marker?"

"Your teacher said this was washable paint? Ask her to come do the laundry."

"We don't touch dead things!"

"If you're going to punch your brother use the boxing gloves."

"I'm sorry you can't marry me. Because I'm already married to daddy."

"You can have nice mommy or mean mommy. Your choice."

"Please stop asking people how old they are."

"Stop licking the floor! Pretend you're a dog that doesn't do that."

"No I don't want to see the color of your poop."

"We don't eat candy off the ground!"

"No I didn't know you could speak adult."

And the one I hoped I would never, ever say:

"Because I said so! And I'm the mom, that's why!"