I feel like all is right with the world. Because I really like doing the "mom stuff". It's hard for me when I'm at work and we pay someone else to do the moms stuff, because, well, it's MY job.
But to be honest with you I've been feeling a little stressed lately when I drop Aliya off. Because "she" is there. The bright yellow vest, the stop sign, the oh so great position of power and she is not messing around. You see, I've always thought I knew how to drive. She has made it abundantly clear that that is not the case.
It's not that hard people. You wait in line with all the other parents and slowly inch forward until it's time to let your child out and then you merge and wah-lah. Done. After school? Same thing in reverse. Except apparently, I'm a complete idiot because I somehow do it wrong every time.
The first time she scolded me was when I was the first person in line and Aliya was nowhere in sight. So I waited. The cars behind me would just go around when they had their kid. This is how it is done. But she just kept waiving me forward. Over and over. But, um, I don't have my kid, so. . .I tried to convey this via hand signals. Yet she still kept waiving me forward. What exactly she was hoping to accomplish by having me leave without my daughter is beyond me.
The second time I was reprimanded was because I was late and I was told under no uncertain terms that I must park and walk inside and sign her out. So the next day when I was late {the boys go to a different school and it gets out at the same time} I was headed to a parking space when I saw Aliya, so I deviated from my plan and was waiting for her to come into the parking lot. The "Cross Walk Nazi" did not like this and kept waiving me forward to exit. Again, I do not have my child. So, again, via appropriate hand signals I tried to convey this to her. Finally I gave up, drove the ten feet and stopped at the curb to let Aliya in. Crazy Cross Walk Nazi came running up to my window and started pounding on it. I rolled it down and she is screaming at me that I can't do what I just did. So I tried to explain that she kept waiving me forward so did she or did she not want me to pull forward? For the love of all that is decent, I just want to pick up my daughter and leave without having a panic attack. Becauseohmygoshthecrazyladyisoutofcontrol!!
Somehow I manage to drop off and pick up my boys without a hitch. No one yells at me, in fact, they wish me a good day as they open the door to let the boys out. They smile, they wave {in a non-life threatening way} and they are kind. I think Cross Walk Nazi's neon vest has gone to her head. I mean that kind of power is clearly intoxicating. I like to think of it as her "Ring" yet she's not on the path to Mordor. Although she does have a gollum vibe going on.
And that stupid flashy vest is her precious.
Well this hobbit will eventually snap. Because I am not pleased about my "happy kid time" turning into "stressful Crazy Cross Walk Nazi time" and I'm also not happy about being short enough to be a Hobbit in this scenario.
How did I end up here?
2 comments:
well, the being short part you can blame on your jeans. no, not your awesome buckle jeans, the jeans you got from your parents. and as for the cross walk nazi, you should roll down your window, and as you drive by have your boys nicely toss a rotten egg or two in her direction. and call it quality family time. that should make everyone happy. just sayin.
yikes. She needs a life. You should just probably run her over...
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