Mom guilt

Remember when you found out you were pregnant for the first time and you were all like "I'm going to be the best mother ever!" And you would secretly criticise all those "bad" moms in the mall with their little kid leash's and pacifiers? And why oh why were they never able to keep the snot off their kids' nose or their cute little outfit clean? And is that {gasp} McDonald's their feeding them? Wow, I'm never going to be a mother like that. I'm going to feed my kids all organic baby food that I make myself, after breast feeding until they're one of course, and there will be no sugar in my home and they will always be clean, hair done and faces smiling. They will never talk back, hit or throw tantrums. AND my hubby and I will maintain a perfect relationship with great sex and never get angry at each other or our kids.

Ah, stupidity is bliss.

When you have a kid that comes out screaming and doesn't stop for six months, you adjust your expectations fairly quickly. And a crying baby combined with sleep deprivation is not conducive to a cheery marriage. Trust me.
And that whole breast feeding thing does not work for everyone no matter what the lactation lady tells you.

Guilt trip numero uno.

I tried breast feeding my baby girl, and she simply was not getting enough. Then I got really sick with a high fever and it dried up over night. Just gone. And for some insane reason I was terrified of what people would think of me if I didn't breast feed. Similar story with baby number two and was able to finally breast feed my youngest for six months. Obviously I must love him more. I mean, duh. Only mothers who love their babies breast feed.

Guilt trip numero dos.

Any person who has ever criticized a parent for using a child leash clearly does not have a two year old like Dylan. Or a two year old at all. And is just mean.
Because my options were a) rethink how attached I really was to him. Only had him for two years, would I really miss him that much? b) watch as he sprinted across an entire parking lot and had zero fear of all creepy people or c) keep him attached to me, because as much as I loved hearing rude comments about my "dog" I really would like to keep him. Forever.

Guilt trip numero tres.

Have you ever tried making baby food? With a 3 year old, 19 month old and a newborn hanging/sucking on you? I'm just sayin'. And for the record, pacifiers and a God send. Bottom line.

The list goes on and on and on. And the guilt trips get way worse the older they get. I'm not reading to them enough, Aliya is ten and I haven't showed her how to make a cake from scratch yet, are they getting enough fiber, are they well rounded, do they play too many video games, maybe I yell too much, we should do family night more often, pizza is totally a food group right? Are their friends good influences, do they know their address or how to dial 911, the dentist thinks I neglect them, where will they go to college? There are only a thousand more but I'm pretty sure you don't want to read all those.

So when your child has cavities, the principal wants to "chat" and you tell your 8 year old to redo his homework because it's so messy a monkey must have written it and then you remember he's writing with his left hand because the other one is in a cast, all the other moms out there totally get it. And we've got your back.